tired

I worked a really long day today. 930am - 1130pm. I'm pooped. the odd this is that when I came home i felt this peculiary but reassuring feeling, like I had emptied myself like a vessel into something, and I felt grateful and exhilirated about it. I can't capture what that feeling was now. I felt spent, but that the energy wasn't wasted. Then, whatever good, tired feeling that was, I killed it with tv and alcohol. and I can't get that feeling back.