Left hand or right hand

“So which hand do guys jack off with?” Vanya asked me.

“Their right, I guess.” I replied.

“Ewwwww!”

The fact is there wasn’t any answer to that question that wouldn’t have elicited an “Ewwwww!” from Vanya, for 2 reasons:

a) I suspect she’s just squeamish and hygiene-conscious enough to have at least wrinkled her nose at masturbation with either hand.

b) More to the point, in India, customarily people reserve their left hand for the dirty business of wiping themselves after a piss or shit, while the right hand is used for everything else (worshipping, eating, and the like). So eating with your left hand is taboo and considered disgusting.

This begs the question: since masturbation is a “dirty” act performed on a body part that men worship, what hand should they be using? This is a matter of “should use” than “do use”. I’ll wager they use their dominant hand, as a matter of convenience—it’s not as though there’s any mothers, aunts, or brahmins around to chastise (I hope).

Maybe the wealthier men avoid the problem by getting handjobs from prostitutes. Of course, then I wonder what hand the prostitute uses. Probably not the left. The Indian man wouldn’t allow it. Woe to the working girl with even worse luck of being left-handed. Who wants to do that kind of repetitive, laborious, and sticky work with your non-dominant hand?