Don't read if you gross out easily.

On the back of my box of Q-tips, it lists directs you on how to clean your ears.
Specifically, you're to stroke swab gently around the OUTER surfaces of the ear. DO NOT ENTER THE EAR CANAL.

Hm.

Why the HELL would you do that? Why give me a soft pointy object ideal for scratching the inside of my ear canal? The cotton swab is a delicate dildo palpating the delicious E-spot that makes my toes curl and mouth water.

I cleaned my ears three times while I wrote this. But only the left one. It was the only one that was itchy.

What else would you use a Q-tip for? There's one other use which brings a nearly equivalent pleasure response to that of the E-spot: cleaning out your belly button. What it lacks in physical pleasure, it makes up for OCD-scab-picking satisfaction. Unless you can get a really nice ripe chunk of earwax out of your ear. That beats navel lint with a stick.