Acid reflux is not a superpower.

Anyone who's been within 5 feet of me when I'm stressed out knows I have acid reflux. Acid reflux sounds kinda cool, like I could shoot acid out of my mouth or maybe my wrists ala Spiderman. And the "reflux" part makes it sound like it's a knee-jerk pistol-whipping cat-like reflex. But it's not a cool superpower. Unless superpowers can include belching every 14 seconds with a persistance that would astonish you if it weren't so pathetic.
And that's my current problem. Acid reflux is a gassy, belchy gross problem, and I've just moved into an office that's all cubicles and everyone can hear every rumble. Or smell it.
I was in the car with Praztitute earlier this week. I did one of those under-my-breath inaudible belches. You know, the kind where your cheeks momentarily blow up like a helium balloon and then you discreetly whooosh it out. Six seconds later, Praztitute turns to me: "Dude! Did you burp? I smell garlic and marinara." Which was an accurate diagnosis, since I had just had garlic bread and spaghetti sauce...three hours earlier.
My stomach is an acid cesspool with swamp gas. I get to taste my food hours after I've eaten it. It's made for some interesting combinations. Today I got an delayed replay of a white chocolate mocha latte + store-bought unagi sushi.
I am lucky though. I can control the problem by a) taking a medicine called Prevacid and b) not getting so stressed out. The medicine works really well. So well that I'm having the typical don't-trust-the-man-it-must-be-black-magic superstitions. There are people who don't take medicine that they knew works for them just because they don't like the idea of taking a pill every day for a long time, even though it would probably mean that their quality of life would improve and would probably improve the long-term prognosis of their condition. Those people are idiots.
And now I'm one of them.
Somehow, it made sense to me that having acid rot away your stomach lining, and belching more emissions than a Land Rover was the BRAVE thing to do. Life is pain, suck it up, and deal with it. And if in 15 years you've eroded a hole through your torso, well at least you've built some character in the meantime and by gum, you're leading a pill-free existence! You could also probably reach through your gut and crack your better than your chiropractor can.
So I'm going to start popping the pills. In the meantime I'm going to try eating things like baby powder or country apples or lavender blossoms; at least then when I burp it out later, I'll have saved money on air freshener.