Vanya and Proleta's Tarantino Night!

 
 
 
  

There are no words I can say to describe this.

Oh wait, yes there is: hoochy.
The ad I clicked on proclaimed, "Make men stare, while women glare!"

Don't read if you gross out easily.

On the back of my box of Q-tips, it lists directs you on how to clean your ears.
Specifically, you're to stroke swab gently around the OUTER surfaces of the ear. DO NOT ENTER THE EAR CANAL.

Hm.

Why the HELL would you do that? Why give me a soft pointy object ideal for scratching the inside of my ear canal? The cotton swab is a delicate dildo palpating the delicious E-spot that makes my toes curl and mouth water.

I cleaned my ears three times while I wrote this. But only the left one. It was the only one that was itchy.

What else would you use a Q-tip for? There's one other use which brings a nearly equivalent pleasure response to that of the E-spot: cleaning out your belly button. What it lacks in physical pleasure, it makes up for OCD-scab-picking satisfaction. Unless you can get a really nice ripe chunk of earwax out of your ear. That beats navel lint with a stick.

food...

So apparently, the only thing I'm really interested in blogging are the things I eat. I've lately become obsessed (are we noting the recurrent theme of obsessions?) with Caprese Salad, a.k.a. Insalata Caprese. MY VERSION (which is way better) consists of:
- grape tomatoes: not any other kind, must be grape tomatoes
- basil leaves: the more fragrant, the better; the Kroger on Cambridge has good ones for a decent price.
- prosciutto: procured from Whole Foods. Probably the priciest item here. $4 for 4 ounces, but I used an ounce in each salad I ate, so I feel it's worth it.
- red bell peppers: this is my own addition, it is not traditionally found in Caprese Salad. I have a feeling that the sweeter orange-yellow bell peppers would be better, but alas, those weren't on sale.
-fresh mozzarella, cubed.
-drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with pepper and sea salt. Yes, sea salt. If you don't have it, get it; I think it's a way better garnish than regular salt. Costs a couple of dollars for a container, it isn't that pricey.

I can't believe I blogged this.

After dinner, I ate some Nutella. That s--- is addictive.

Bombay Dreams: Kuch Crap Hota Hai

Um, so I saw Bombay Dreams tonight with my friends. It seriously sucks. The choreography is mediocre, the songs are cliche, and overall it's really BORING. I don't mind seeing it again, but I think Mom and Dad will get really bored and want to leave at intermission. You know how I don't really drink, right? I purposely downed a rum and coke at intermission to see if it would improve it any. It didn't, but I enjoyed making fun of it a lot more and the time passed. I mean, it should make you think, how bad could it have been if even Shilpa would rather be stuporous?